Uneducated, but can google at least.

Archive for April 2009

AdelaideNow’s Stance on Journalism Content

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I was going over the local rag’s website today, and noted briefly that they were seeking the public’s help with finding content for their site.


Nothing outrageous there. It’s something that seems to be happening all over the world as news outlets seek to become more human and in touch with their readership. However, my surprise came from the same banner a few seconds after this was displayed.


Okay, I get the whole “SMS” thing and how it’s supposed to read “If you see it”. However, I can’t get “I Fuck It” out of my head. I also can’t help but also think that this is’s mission statement when it comes to journalistic integrity.

Editor (addressing a throng of drooling journalists before they hit the pavement): Alright guys! We’ve got a whole bunch o’ shit happening out there! We need to gather the facts! Then what are you going to do to the facts?

Journalists (chorus): I Fuck It!

Editor: What are you going to do to fair and balanced journalism?

Journalists: I Fuck It!

Alright, I think I’ve had enough fun what that…


Written by Andy

April 25, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Rudd is a four letter word

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Quite a day in the news. When Minister’s aren’t resigning over the fact that they are merely human… repeatedly merely human, the Prime Minister comes forward with a startlingly fresh idea. Honesty.

Yep, it seems that Australia isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and all the magic of The Secret isn’t going to help us out, either. And with such harsh times bearing down on us like a runaway locomotive upon a fragile bunny, the people rally behind our honourable and honest leader.


Yeah. He hasn’t said one positive word. Totally.

There’s that fucking Secret method of approaching economics again. Yes, I can understand that sentiment plays a rather large role with the demand side of the equation, but I think that people don’t study these kinds of things at university year upon year just to walk out the other side with the conclusion that spend = good. Heaven forbid that things as academic as job prospects, debt serviceability, and job market strength might have an impact upon households’ willingness to buy four cent shite at vastly inflated (but discount at the retailer) prices.

And I’m not an economist by any stretch of the imagination.


I think he might be talking about the $900 vote-bribe that’s coming to all Australians who paid tax last year. Or maybe the Christmas bonus that was handed out to (gag) “Working Families”, and pensioners.

Even as a childless non-pensioner, I can see the rationale behind plying the populace with free cash. That’s not to say I agree with it. However, isn’t slagging off these orgies of cash on the basis that they were giving much of it to those who didn’t pay tax, is to also suggest that maybe the other “much” part of it was also given out to those who actually… well… did…?

It’s heartening to know that even during times of decline, where we could end up feasting upon cans of dog food as we huddle beneath the underpass, there will always be an armchair there, where we can sit and be experts.

Written by Andy

April 21, 2009 at 12:10 am

Firey comments

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The stand out story of last week would have been the explosion that happened on a boat carrying a bunch of asylum seekers. This all harks back to 2001 when the Tampa wasn’t allowed to come ashore, due to it carrying people of the same nature. Then it seemed that every single week following that (and the 9-11 attacks) had another story of a band of asylum seekers, or as they became known, “queue jumpers”.

A “Queue Jumper” is something that everybody hates. You’ve been waiting in line for so long to have the chemist check out your headache pills, when some dipshit with a severed arm rushes in front of you, desperate for help. He’s so desperate, you can see the marks from where he has tried to cut off his own leg in order to get more attention. You turn your nose up at Stumpy and tell him to get to the back of the line. Others in the line snort in derision, and even people who have almost left the chemist also turn and heap scorn on the poor fellow – even though they don’t even need to be in the queue and are happy with their lot in life.

So, people who come to Australia on boats are automatically treated with extreme cynicism, no matter how severed their limbs are.

News later in the week shows that, unsurprisingly (if you remember back in 2001 when asylum seekers seemed to be washing up on our shore with the regularity of waves), more boats could be on their way.

It’s the comments that astound me, though.


What the fuck?

So many things wrong with this statement that it’s simply not worth picking apart. I’ll just assume that it’s the kind of wrong-headed song that bleated out by the ever-growing army of wankers who think that walling up our borders to anything that falls outside whitey is the best friggin idea in the world, mayte.

Considering this comment’s flagrant disregard to the value of human life – any human life – it makes this next comment seem a little macabre.


I dunno if this was simply an aloof, off-the-cuff remark, or whether it was in reference to those thirty odd people who suffered severe burns after the previous explosion. Either way, it seems to be in poor taste. Have was descended so far as primitive savages that we turn to cannibalistic jokes? It’s dark humour, even for me.

This also seems to highlight that’s comments moderator could use a better whacking stick.

Written by Andy

April 19, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Who isn’t a battler?

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Reality TV has dredged up all sorts of things. That is not to be yet another random bash at all things that promote mediocrity and grant fledgling flash in pans their 15 minutes of fame before vomiting them back out onto the footpath of obscurity. But in future decades, we will look upon with this era with curiosity as we struggle to comprehend how this whole thing could possibly have been called a “social experiment”, when it was just plain voyeurism. Reality TV was and is a cultural phenomenon which revolutionised television and turned legions of people to the internet in disgust.

Many people actually benefitted from Reality TV, going on to forge careers. Shannon Noll and Ryan Fitzgerald spring immediately to mind. Also the six-foot-tall-eight-year-old James Matheson who decided to quit hosting Australian Idol to play in his band… which he plugged briefly before the door hit his arse.

But the greatest of them all would have to have been from the UK Big Brother. Jade Goody is quite possibly the champagne example out of all contestants, having never really disappeared from the spotlight like most Big Brother participants. It was all getting quite gratuitous up until her diagnosis of Cervical Cancer and her subsequent death. The media, who had constantly demonised her after she made some alleged racist remarks on “Celebrity” Big Brother, suddenly turned quicker than milk in front of a space heater.

Her passing was noted in the Australian media, but it wasn’t until our friendly overseas grandfather Michael Parkinson remarked that she wasn’t all that tops, and that she was “all that’s paltry and wretched about Britain”.

Curious about the context in which he was speaking, I looked elsewhere for the piece, and all I found was this. Meh. Nothing special, I don’t think.

However, in the comments I found this little nugget.


It appears that Australians are crossing the globe to spout their opinions… and their fucking colloquialisms. “Battler”. If I start hearing British politicians start using this term, I will begin to weep as that will mean that our vote-buying technique would have infected another part of the world. I take some solace, though, in knowing that British politicians are slimier than anything we can create and have far better ways of appealing to Joe Ballot.

But I take issue with the term “battler”. Even lowly old wikipedia notes that self-inflicted hardship can even be cause for being termed a “battler”.

Who, in this world, cannot be called a battler? Even if we not use John Howard’s broad and all-encompassing, almost fetishist definition:

… the battler is somebody who finds in life that they have to work hard for everything they get… normally you then look at it in terms of somebody who’s not earning a huge income but somebody who is trying to better themselves, and I’ve always been attracted to people who try to better themselves.

Ooh baby, better yourself… ooh yeah.

Alright, I can understand the hard working people who live off the land, pushing Australia’s trademark industry of cattle and sheep are battlers. I can also understand that there are even some white-collar roles which have middle-manager Steve returning home after an 18 hour shift to play with his 2 year old daughter, Purdie, before passing out in bed, his final thought of the day deducing exactly how he’s going to simply keep the lights on in his two bed unit.

How is Jade Goody a “battler”? Struggle against cervical cancer? Okay, sure. That puts her in the same league as Delta Goodrem who had her own gig with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Cancer, Hodgkins lymphoma. The only difference is… well… the survival rate. And other medical stuff.

Is Delta a battler now? Or does death, a battler make? Or is it because Goody has a family?

I’m of the impression that having sprog does not make you a battler. In fact, the more I see the word “battler”, the more I hate it further. It is a word used automatically to define someone’s plight in the world as just. Does the young sales rep who bought a four bedroom house and popped a BMW M3 in the garage and has suddenly found himself to be living from pay day to pay day a “battler”? Fuck no. How about the property developer who bought up vast chunks of land to build hollow quality shacks (in order to house people – thereby providing a “public service”), only to find that the faeces-filled property water balloon burst in his face?

Fuck no.

But they are battlers, at least according to some media outlets. Hell, even former Prime Minister John Howard was labelled a “battler” by George W Bush. For some reason…

It’s a throwaway term, designed to appeal to the hearts of people who cannot see the intent behind the words. Politicians don’t care about your plight, and you didn’t care for Goody’s. Only in death and cancer do you empathise with her. Before that, you wouldn’t have given a shit. Stop pretending otherwise.

Written by Andy

April 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm